Feelings are not Neutral

Recently while listening to several podcasts in my weekly consumption, I heard both therapists and pastors say, 'feelings are not right or wrong, they just are'.

What?? Uh, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This declaration coming from therapists I understand after all I am one. Therapists are trained to ask this hardly ever useful question, 'How does that make you feel?' I don't remember the last time I asked that question.

No one 'makes you feel'. So, if I do ask such a question, it is usual phrased different, 'what feeling are you generating?'

Pastors, on the other hand, y'all gotta help a sister out. I do not understand how this statement can be uttered given the Biblical understanding of human nature.

This is bad advice about feelings

It is wrong. I am here to tell you your feelings can be wrong.

To suggest emotions are morally neutral or amoral indicates a belief the other parts of you such as behavior and beliefs are morally neutral. We know that is not true especially now in a time when people believe men can be women and women can be men.

We are humans who are fallible in every way. Our hearts are more deceitful than all else (Jeremiah 17:9). The self-centered nature of our creation penetrates emotions and to suggest it does not is incorrect.

Feelings can rule us to the point of harmful choices

When you feel any emotion such as anger, sadness, hurt, anxiety, or doubt, it may be righteous or unrighteous. When any one of those feelings rules you to the point of harming self or others, then it is wrong. It is unrighteous, not neutral, and an idol of your heart.

Guess what, we all have 'idols of our hearts'!

The comfort and pleasure you feel when you overeat to relieve pain, loneliness, or anger in your life, yep unrighteous comfort, pleasure, and relief. You actually worship comfort and pleasure to the point of harming self with food. When you decide to have sex with someone prior to marriage, then you have made an idol out of pleasure, love & intimacy. You knit your heart to that person and give up the sacredness of that act. When you micro-manage your teen's school work and sports practices, you probably have an idol of reputation, control, and power. Consider that you do it for your reputation (unrighteous) and their well-being (righteous).

Feelings are never neutral. It is far more accurate to say our feelings can be sinful just like thoughts, desires, and behaviors. We have the capacity for good and the capacity for not good.

Feelings reveal things and must be evaluated

Anger, for example, is a feeling that indicates ‘I’m against that’ or ‘I don’t like that.’ A person filled with unrighteous anger suppresses or controls the freedom of others. They force submission. Righteous anger seeks to influence and understand. This person, in contrast, appropriately communicates or disciplines calmly offering a taste of pain to compel change.

So, is my anger righteous or unrighteous when I hear therapists and pastors indicate feelings are neutral?

Soapbox done for now.

Drop me a comment and let me know.